Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
its liver damage thursday
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
