Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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