If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
