if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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