I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
