So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
