Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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