Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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