I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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