So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
