When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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