I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
