Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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