Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
home. puking in laundry basket.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
