Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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