It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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