Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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