i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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