I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
