Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
