the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
