More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
