When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
