I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
