I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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