I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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