Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
