weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
