I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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