i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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