She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
