I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
