We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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