Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
