JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
