i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
