I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
