So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
