The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
