his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
