im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I supernannyed him into submission
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
