sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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