im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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