"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
