Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
