Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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