No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
