Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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