I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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