OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
